Should you move in together before or after the wedding? This is one of the burning questions many couples struggle with. It’s a serious decision to make, so you should talk it out with your partner as soon as possible. Once you see that your end goals (getting married) are compatible, you should sit down and talk about moving in together. Like any other situation, this one also has its pros and cons. You should consider both sides and think about your wants and needs along the way. To help you out a little, we curated a list of reasons you should keep in mind when making this big decision.
Moving in together before the wedding
Many couples decide not to wait until after their wedding to move in together. If you and your partner feel like you’re ready to start living together before the big day, that’s great. There are many positives to look forward to. However, there are also certain negatives you should consider when making this life-changing decision. After all, this is a significant step for both you and your significant other. Let’s talk about the pros and cons!
Pro: You can build a strong relationship
It’s a big difference between being in a relationship with someone and living with them. People are more comfortable living alone, therefore what they do in their own homes is very different from what they do at another person’s place. The best method to get to know your partner is to live with them and learn about their habits, routines, likes, and dislikes.
That’s why many couples believe that living together before marriage is the best way to truly get to know one another. This way, you’ll get a chance to build a stronger relationship and meet your significant other on a much, much deeper level. Additionally, there won’t be any unpleasant surprises in the future; you’ll know everything you have to know before your wedding day.
Con: A lot of pressure on your relationship
While deciding to live together might strengthen your relationship, it can also have the opposite effect. Moving in is a major step, and if you’re not ready, it may cause a lot of stress and pressure in your relationship. You know it can be both enjoyable and challenging to share a bedroom and your personal stuff with someone, especially if you have siblings. Therefore, you might jeopardize your relationship if you don’t have a working and robust support system.
Unfortunately, living together will introduce new challenges to your relationship that you and your significant other have likely never encountered before. That’s why you need to be ready to make some compromises and find the middle ground about pretty much everything. After all, we all have different routines and habits. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you’ll love everything that person does.
Pro: Saving money
If you decide to move in together before the wedding, you’ll save a ton of money. For starters, this means paying for one rent and one set of bills instead of two. Since monthly rent and bills are a considerable financial strain, you’ll have a massive boost in your bank account. By living together, you’ll save enough money to have a big wedding, buy a car, or renovate your home. You can invest in anything you want or need. The bottom line is you definitely won’t have to worry about your wedding budget as much if you decide to take this step.
Con: Risk of losing quality in your relationship
If you’re moving in together before the wedding only to save money, we recommend you rethink your decision. If you’re not ready for a life-long commitment, you might not see the need to work on and strengthen your relationship. This might lead to some issues between you and your partner that can affect the quality of your relationship.
Therefore, before you decide whether you should move in together before or after the wedding, think about the cost of things that can go wrong. They can easily surpass the savings you’ll make if you move in together before marriage.
Pro: less stress while wedding planning
Moving in together before the big day can undoubtedly relieve some stress from the planning process. Since planning the wedding is pretty time-consuming, it would be easier and faster to do it while living together. This is one of the significant benefits of this situation. You’ll save both time and money, and the whole process will be much more straightforward for both of you.
Moving in together after the wedding
If you and your partner decided to put off moving in together after the wedding, that’s great too! There are many solid reasons why people opt to wait until after the ceremony to take this huge step.
Religious reasons
Cohabitation, or two unmarried people sharing a home and a bed, is forbidden or condemned in practically every major global religion. Although cohabitation has grown in popularity among couples over the last several decades, many people still prefer to follow their religion and wait until after marriage. This is an entirely valid reason to move in together after the wedding.
Making it more special
There is something to be said about finally sharing the home and bed with your spouse for the first time. It’s undeniably more special and exciting to start this chapter of your life after the big day. Everything is new and pretty for both of you. Because of this, many couples decide not to move in together before the wedding.
Cramming in a small apartment
The fact is, many couples can’t afford to live in a big house before they get married. They usually live in a studio or one-bedroom apartment or a pretty small place where there isn’t enough space for all their belongings, so they are forced to find a proper solution and store excess items. This is especially true of NYC apartments, which are notoriously small. So, before you make any big decisions, think about this: will you and your partner actually enjoy your first joint space, or are you moving in together just for practical reasons? You’ll have to make educated and smart decisions when it comes to this. That’s why many couples decide to move in after the big day.
The final verdict
The dilemma of whether you should move in together before or after the wedding is justified. As you can see, there are many factors you need to keep in mind when making this decision. Unfortunately, there is no one correct answer. In the end, it all depends on you and your partner and what works best for you. It also depends on your financial situation and where you are in your relationship. The bottom line is you’ll definitely have to have a big talk before taking this significant step. So, good luck!